I was born only a week after the calendar had turned from
December to a new year in January. My first birthday gift was being born as the
7th of 11 children right on the heels of a brother who joined a
chaotic but loving family just 15 months earlier. Some of my earliest childhood
memories revolve around the seemingly endless hours I would spend side by side
with my older brother. It seemed we shared everything; from the clothes on our
backs to the bed where we slept. As we
grew older together we watched our family grow larger. My younger brother
followed just a year and a half later. Then it was two more sisters (4 in all)
and finally the last born….a brother that none of us ever knew, losing him just
days after he came into this world.
Far more than half a century has now passed since that first
January and in all that time so have so many family members. Grandparents,
parents, uncles, aunts, cousins….all lost to the ages. None ever forgotten or
loved any less. But today marks the day that the brother who was born just 15
months earlier than me would have celebrated his 63rd birthday. For
as long as I can remember Matt was fun, serious, cerebral & goofy all at
the same time. And then, far too soon, he was gone; less than six months before
his 22nd birthday. I was only 20 at the time and like my parents,
brothers & sisters, that sudden loss in a traffic accident cut through me
like a blade so sharp that the wound would never heal. But…time heals all wounds.
Years go by and the pain will gradually disappear. The wound will one day stop
causing the pain of sudden loss.
So we were told.
But as time has ticked away and attempted to close that
wound all it has been able to do is dull the pain.
Time has failed. The wounds that it has always been
entrusted to healing never fully close. The pain from the loss of those you
love never fully subsides. The comfort to soothe that enduring pain comes from
those loved ones who remain; through the stories…through the shared sorrow...through the memories. Time has
done its best….but the healing only comes from those you love.
