Monday, December 10, 2012

A Life Well Lived



It’s taken me awhile to pen something…..anything…. about the heart wrenching loss that my family endured last month.  At the age of 95 my father died peacefully in his sleep in the very early hours of the day before Thanksgiving.  At first I thought there would be so much needed to be written about a long life so well lived by the most important & influential man in my own. Should I begin with the 12 year old boy at the very beginning of the depression? Or should it be stories of the time he spent in Oregon as a 20 something young man working in the CC camps? Maybe his time as an Ordinance Sergeant during WWII or his lifelong career working his way up to Superintendent of Mails in the U.S. Post Office. Certainly I could write about my dad meeting my mom for the very first time & the start of a special relationship that would produce eleven children in the process.  I could pick just one of any of those topics & fill page after page with the stories that he told and, from more recent times, the memories that we shared during that life well lived. I could write about the times he & I spent in the last years of his life sipping on a glass of 18 year old Jameson as he talked about years gone by and the people & places that meant most to him. I think if I were to concentrate on any one aspect of his life it would be that one because it was a special time for me. Just me & my dad enjoying each other’s company over a perfect glass of Irish Whiskey.   
So yes, writing about any of those things would be pages turning into chapters that would no doubt tell a wonderfully interesting story about a very special man. Instead though, I want to share with you how he left this world. I want to share it because it happened just the way he wanted it to. No hospital room, no wires or life support systems. Just his own bed in his own home covered by the blanket that his own grandmother had woven by hand from the very sheep that she raised on her farm in Canada after  arriving there from Ireland. Earlier in the day he enjoyed a little breakfast and then later a bowl of soup before he went into his room to rest. He closed his eyes and opened them again several hours later for the very last time as he gazed around the room where all of his children and most of his grandchildren, along with their husbands & wives and a few of his great-grandchildren had gathered to say their final goodbyes. He closed his eyes again…..and was gone. It was a time of great sadness, but in the days and weeks that followed, as the reality of life …and death set in, I was also comforted in knowing that he drew his last breath how and where he did. He wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

My Moment In Time

It was one of--if not THE most--perfect days of the year. The weather of September 16 was just that. Perfect. But so too was the wonderful event that took place on that day. I waited more than a week to write about it here because for me it was such a magical day that I needed all that time to savor the day and take it all in. As you get older you tend to look back more & more frequently on your accomplishments--or at least how often you did things right against those sometimes regrettable decisions of your youth. Gladly, most of my youthful decisions where good ones. Not all certainly, but most. But as I sat quietly on that September Vermont afternoon under a cloudless sky that seemed as blue as anything I had ever experienced before I realized that one of the truly important moments in my life was taking place....the marriage of my daughter. Yes, it was her day....and the day of her new husband. It was my wife Fran's day & my son Kevin's. It was a day not likely forgotten by the hundred some odd family members & friends who sat with me that day, or stood up for the bride & groom. But it was my moment. In that moment I thought of so many things. The very day she was born; preschool, dance lessons, high school cheerleader & college graduation. Singing her Irish lullabies as a baby & when she was a little bit older "You've Got A Friend" (the song she chose for our dance together). In that moment I recalled every evening kiss on the forehead that she never knew I gave her & all the smiles, kisses & laughs that she has given me. In my moment it was as if I had just realized what a beautiful woman she had become for the very first time. And so, as she walked passed me as a new bride I took a deep breath to help hold back the tears-- and I suppose fill my lungs with that special moment that was quickly slipping away. Hand in hand they both walked further & further from me as I reluctantly let my moment go and grasped the realization that her life with her new husband will no doubt be a long & happy one. Of that I am grateful to the wonderful man she married that Sunday in September......but mine will never be quite the same again.

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Remembering Dick Clark


When I was just 14 or 15 I remember listening to some great radio out of Hartford, Connecticut. Disc Jockeys with names like Ken Griffen, Ron Landry & Dick Robinson. Later there was Barry Grant, Bob Marx and Dick McDonough. All of these guys were terrific broadcasters and even though they all had an impact on my decision to choose radio as a career, none of them left their mark on the entire industry like Dick Clark. Having a brother 10 years my senior put him at the perfect age to witness the birth of rock & roll & helped introduce me to something before I was even 10 years old that would shape my musical interest for a lifetime. That something was called “American Bandstand”. While most kids my age that were aware of this new TV show wished they could be part of the audience & get a chance to hear the music & dance, I was enamored by this smooth talking, cool looking (for the time) host of the show that actually got to introduce the music, and the artists that sang the songs! Since his death yesterday morning many who knew & worked with Dick Clark have shared their own view of a man they knew as a consummate professional and genuinely kind human being. For just about anyone, an epitaph like that would be enough. But Dick Clark was more than that. He was a pioneer, a visionary, creating the way kids listened to music for more than a generation. Even today, more than 50 years after he first sat down behind a microphone the music industry…….and the radio industry owe him a deep debt of gratitude. And so does that young 8 or 9 year old kid from Connecticut. So, just as Dick Clark would salute us all every time he ended any of his TV appearances as he said: "For now, Dick Clark … so long,", here’s a salute back to “America's Oldest Teenager” …..thanks for letting us “Rock, Roll & Remember”.

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Bitter On Twitter


As I was watching the Oscars the other night I found it interesting that actors like Christopher Plummer & Max Von Sydow who are both in their 80s now were both nominated for an Academy Award in the category of Best Supporting Actor. Plummer won out over Von Sydow, and, I should add, other actors much younger than them both for that coveted statue. Even at the age of 82 Plummer continues to do great, well respected work. I wonder if anyone was on Twitter asking who is Christopher Plummer? I write that because it really surprised me a couple of weeks ago when Twitter lit up over one of the older statesmen of Rock & Roll during this year’s Grammys.

I actually first heard about it from one of my son’s friends while we were having breakfast at his place in Dorchester, Ma. a couple of weekends ago. It was one of the most notable, if not the most repeated tweets that lit up twitter during the Grammy telecast. At first thought my reaction was “impossible!” How could anyone be so out of touch? After all this was one of the best Grammy shows I remembered seeing in awhile. Something for every generation, and although there were a few acts I was unfamiliar with, who could not know who Paul McCartney is!!? Yes, that was the tweet during his performance of “My Valentine” from his new CD. Young people tweeting back & forth: ”who is Paul McCartney?”. I have yet to become a “tweeter” but if I were, my tweets would’ve concentrated more on the performance of Nicki Minaj or the weird net that Lady GaGa had over her face…but who is Paul McCartney?...C’mon!! Wait a minute though. McCartney will be 70 in June. He’s just about the same age now that Perry Como, Bing Crosby & Fred Astaire were when McCartney himself first performed in America back in the 60’s!! (I’m assuming those of you reading this know those names). So there lies the culprit: The Grammys themselves! Something for every age group?? What were they thinking? The Grammys is a young people’s show! Having it appeal to a wide audience is insanity! Nobody who relates to Chris Brown or Lil Wayne got McCartney’s performance & those waiting to see McCartney could’ve done without Minaj’s “Roman” and the fish net stockings that Lady GaGa mistakenly placed over her head. So what we need to do is have a new awards show. A show for the performers of the past. One that those 60 something artists can perform on & no one will tweet “who the hell is that”?? We’ll call it “The Gramps” or maybe “The Grannies”. This way everyone will have a place to perform. Actually, I’m not worried about artists like Paul McCartney, Bruce Springsteen, The Stones, Elton John or, do I dare say it, Madonna. I think they did OK for themselves. But a show like that just might be the saving grace for a few of those performers whose ability comes more from computer generated sound than any exceptional ability. Only time will tell. Great performers can stand that test of time. Christopher Plummer proved that last night……and even that guy that a lot of those tweeters didn’t know during the Grammys has done pretty well for himself. Oscar & actors like Plummer & Von Sydow have been going strong for more than 80 years. Artists like McCartney for nearly 50. So Whether they’re Academy Awards, Grammy Awards or someday maybe The Gramps or Grannies, only a few will be special enough to get that very special tweet: “ Who the hell was that??”

Monday, February 6, 2012

Maybe Next Time...If There Is One

I certainly missed in predicting the outcome of the Patriots chances in Super Bowl XLVI. As a Patriots fan I was anxious about the game, but fairly confident that they could pull out a victory over the New York Giants & history would not repeat itself. The inaccuracy of my prediction is the only thing that gives me hope that the Tom Brady led Patriots may still have a bit of life left in them for another run at the Lombardi Trophy because after that heart wrenching loss last night I really got the feeling that we had seen the last gasp of this proud franchise and their dominance of the AFC. I could write paragraph after paragraph full of reasons why I think they lost that game but the simple fact is they missed their chances to put the game away because they could not execute. Something the Giants were far better at doing. That kind of play by The Pats seems to have reared its head several times this season but Tom Brady & his offense were able to keep winning games despite the teams obvious weaknesses. This time though Brady & his team just weren’t sharp enough to compete at the level they needed to win. So perhaps the best days of the Brady/Belichick era are now behind them. If so, it was a great ride… but my record on predictions does give me a little hope for the future. Maybe, just maybe we can put it all together one more time. But I’m not predicting anything….or should I??!!

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Until We Meet Again


It's a grey, rainy morning here in Vermont.

Back in the summer of 2010 I used this blog to share some memories of my uncle Vince O’Brien shortly after his death in June at the age of 91. He was a professional actor of quite some note and I wrote about his colorful life & career, about large families & the joy of growing up in that kind of magical environment….and how hard it can be to say goodbye to special people in your life. Not long after I posted that blog I received a quick note from my cousin Patrick Halloran…whose mother, like mine, was a sister to my uncle Vince. Pat wrote: That’s as much as I could ever hope for someone to write about me when I pass. Thanks Ed. It's been a couple of weeks but this put it back in perspective.

No one knew that just six short months later we would be saying goodbye to Patrick himself as the result of an automobile accident not far from my home here in Vermont. So today on the one year anniversary of his death I am trying to put his life in perspective in a likely feeble attempt to make good on his wish.

Because we (The O’Briens) are such a large family, Pat & I didn’t know each other well when we were younger. Being separated by several hundred miles & more than 20 years of age will do that. He and his brothers & sisters would see my family occasionally through the years as we would get together with cousins, aunts & uncles for some kind of family function or another, but it was only within the last 10 years or so that Pat & I got to solidify a relationship that was far too long in coming. Pat was the founding member of Ceann, a great & quite successful party band that billed themselves as “Yankee-Irish Drinking Music” and just by that billing you can imagine that the band gave their audiences some pretty wild shows…..I was lucky enough to be in an audience or two once in awhile & can attest to the fun we had! That band is really what brought us together after so many years. Ceann would perform once or twice a year here at McGrath’s Pub at The Inn at Long Trail and I would never miss a show. I would always have Pat in the radio studio with me whenever he came to town & he would always have a song or two to sing……but always toned them down so as not to upset the FCC….or threaten my employment! It was at McGrath’s that Pat performed his final two shows on January 28th & 29th. It’s hard for me to believe as I sit here writing this that today marks the one year anniversary of his death. But it also marks the one year anniversary of remembering his life…..the life of a very gifted & talented young man who touched many, many lives of his own. A life that was cut far too short, but not before it left an indelible mark in the hearts of those that knew him best & loved him most. He was simply an amazingly wonderful & talented guy. We Irish find it hard to say goodbye on any occasion, for any reason…..let alone for someone taken so quickly and so young. Instead, we say “until we meet again”. And so Pat, until we meet again; I raise a “Parting Glass” & say:

Oh, all the comrades e'er I had,
They're sorry for my going away,
And all the sweethearts e'er I had,
They'd wish me one more day to stay,
But since it falls unto my lot,
That I should rise and you should not,
I gently rise and softly call,
Good night and joy be with you all.

……and until we meet again may God hold you in the hollow of his hand.